Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Over time, I'm sure I'll mention a hundred ways that tarot, and my ventures into living a more spiritual life, are improving my life and making me happier. What I probably won't mention are the ways that it's making my life more difficult or complex; those things aren't as significant to me, so may not get mentioned so much here. (If you're on Aeclectic, though, you may already know what a crybaby I can be!)
The biggest issue that I have dealt with so far is explaining my interest to other people. People seem to fall into two basic groups. You have the people who, for whatever reason, believe that tarot is evil and/or dangerous. These people tend to be ignorant about tarot in general, and get pretty freaked out when they find out that you do it. These are the people who insist that you're going to hell for reading, that tarot calls evil spirits, that tarot functions through the efforts of evil spirits, or simply that tarot is a sin. (So is eating shrimp. Try and get me to stop. You'll lose a hand.)
The other group are the skeptics. When they learn that you read, their estimation of your intelligence drops about 100 IQ points. If you're lucky, they're dismissive and will only ever speak to you of fashion magazines and animated sitcoms. If, however, you're unlucky, they're combative. They want you to PROVE it. PROVE it works. Tell them the winning lottery numbers/ location of missing child in the news/ winner of American Idol in 2010. It doesn't matter what you tell them, or what you see- if you are completely accurate, they come back with, "That could fit anyone." There is no point arguing with them- they are secure in their world view. You might as well argue with a brick wall.
In the interest of complete honesty, I used to be a member of the first group. Tarot scared me; more than that, I thought it was ridiculous. I had a reading when I was very young that was so inaccurate as to be offensive, and from that point on, I believed tarot was a con; more than that, though, my mother had a deck that she used specifically when she was in a bad emotional place. To me, that deck felt (and still feels) bad. Mix into that the fact that I grew up in a conservative religious environment, where my mother and her spirituality made her the black sheep, and you get a whole lot of intolerance and prejudice in tiny little me. I've been steadily moving away from that place of fear and intolerance; still, I'm still not sure what sparked the interest in me to try tarot. One day in July, it hit me like a bolt of lightening: "I want to learn that." The second bolt of lightening: "I have to keep it to myself."
It's a new and unpleasant feeling, to have to keep something I am passionate about, something that I find so wonderful, under wraps and hidden away like it's something I'm ashamed of. The way I grew up was completely the opposite of that- I was expected to share my beliefs, to spread them like a virus. To have to treat the things that made me happy like they are dirty or sinful makes me very angry; not only for myself, but for everyone that has to live that way.
Recently, I came out of the tarot closet in a very subtle way; I posted on my Facebook about the Tarot blog. A lot of the very, very conservative people that I am related to are connected to me on Facebook, and I suspect that there will be some fall out, some tearful phone calls about how they're praying for me, perhaps some type of spiritual intervention. I expect to have to make sure that my children are not being indoctrinated when I'm not looking.
Some people that respected my intelligence before likely think less of me now; that's ok. I suspect that will have no real effect on my life; I know how smart I am. It may effect my relationships with them in the long run; that's okay too. I have never been one to live any part of my life hidden away, and I don't expect that I'll start now. I'm not saying it's not scary- it's scary as hell. I'm living in the open, anyway.
The positive surprise is the way that people seem to be handling it so far; a lot of people that I was concerned about have been accepting or downright enthusiatic. The people I suspect to be the most disapproving are either ignoring that I ever said anything (we'll see how it goes when I see them in person), or have flat out asked me to not discuss it with them, as it makes them uncomfortable due to the whole me going to hell thing. Still- they're rejecting the tarot and not me, and that I can live with. I'm not pretending to be something I'm not, and that's what's important.
Edited to add: It has been pointed out to me, very gently, that there is another group of people that I dismissed: the people who are not familiar with tarot, and not prejudiced against it at all. I personally have not encountered very many that fit into this category, but they do exist. They just don't cause me angst, so they didn't fit into my rant. :D
4 comments:
It is really hard when we feel we have to hide things that we enjoy or care about from our friends and family, for whatever reason.
I guess if I had to pick one of your two catagories of people, I would have to fall in the first one. Not because I was afraid of tarot or anything like that but because I just didn't know anything. I had heard of it, but never took the time to find out any additional information. I actually had my first reading ever last Monday.
I also wanted to say thanks very much for the cards and book that you gave me. I feel very honored that you chose to share them with me. Thank you!
Also, if you don't mind, I would love for you to do a general reading for me when you get the chance.
I have really enjoyed reading your blog. I'm learning some interesting things. Thanks for putting it out there.
I would love to do a general reading for you. I have one person ahead of you, though, so it may be a few days. :)
As for the deck- you are most welcome. :) I was a little worried that I freaked you out, so I'm glad to hear that wasn't the case.
I am glad the blog is helpful to you, too- but make sure that you listen to yourself and your intuition when you're looking at the cards. Wakingspirit and I got into a bit of a tiff the other day about whether wands are air or fire; yesterday it was a complete disagreement about the meaning of the Moon card. :) The fun thing is, we're both right. Yes, I may be slightly MORE right than she is, but we're both right. :D
I hope you can make it over on Saturday! If you do, I'll do your reading in person. :)
I was firmly in the first camp for most of my life. Tarot scared me on some really weird, deep level. I was not raised in a conservative christian setting, but anything pagan or "new age" was discouraged and had a taint of evil.
Oddly, the thing that cured me of my fear was finding a deck with artwork that really appealed to me. The rider-waite deck still unsettles me, but my deck (which I've never seen anywhere but my one happy find on ebay)is comfortable, familiar, and safe.
Now I'm dying to know what deck you have!
There are some decks that I dislike deeply; the Barbara Walker Tarot is one; there is another deck that my mom has that I can't remember the name of that I don't like very much, either. They really give me the creeps. It's weird because I have some decks that are far darker and have more disturbing imagery, and they don't bother me a bit.
I still do occasionally have a flash of random fear, but I have to remind myself that it comes from ingrained superstition and ignorance.
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